No more partying before the fight

How I’ve been self-sabotaging with half-effort, safety nets, and excuses.

So this story is about Jon Jones.

Most of you probably know who he is. But for those who don’t…

Quick intro: Jon Jones is one of the most fearless, accomplished, and dominant fighters in MMA history. UFC changed his life, and he changed UFC’s life too. He became one of the youngest champions ever, and his record is insane: 28–1–0. That’s 28 wins, 1 no contest, and 0 losses.

And if you’ve ever watched a UFC fight, you know that’s not just another sport. This isn’t where someone accidentally elbows you or you trip over your shoelace. This is a sport where people try to break your bones, shut your lights off, and make you forget your own name.

Now the weirdest part is that, Jon used to party before his fights.

Yes. Party.

Camp done. Trained like a beast for months. Then one week before the fight, he’d go out and party. And still win. Every. Single. Time.

But, why was he doing that?

He said he partied before fights to give himself an excuse. In case he lost, he could tell himself: “Ah, I partied a week before. That’s why I lost. It wasn’t me at 100%.”

He was building himself a safety net.

He wanted to be able to say even if he lost a close decision or got submitted or ran out of gas in Round 4, “I didn’t give it my best, so it doesn’t count.”

And this is coming from a guy who’s easily one of the best fighters in UFC history and one of the most fearless, dangerous human beings to ever walk the planet.

This is what Joe Rogan said to him on a podcast. Just look at the weight of these words:

"You have a responsibility of greatness. There’s very few people that ever get to the position that you were in… not just when you won the title, when you were the youngest ever UFC heavyweight or light heavyweight champion. Not just that, the youngest ever UFC champion.

There’s also responsibility that comes with potential, right? It’s not just what you’ve done… it’s what you could have done, right?"

Coming from Rogan, that’s massive. And Jon still walked into fights with that mindset.

And yeah… I lied. This isn’t just about Jon.

This is about me.

When I heard that, I felt exposed. Because I’ve done the same thing. In my own way.

I’ve taken on projects, jobs, goals and not given them my 100%. And when they failed? I had a nice little mental cushion to fall back on: "It didn’t work out because I wasn’t even trying that hard. If I gave my full effort, it would’ve been different."

That’s cowardice. That’s me building a safety net. That’s me refusing to find out what I’m truly capable of.

And it’s been showing up a lot lately especially in work.

I’ve been talking to a bunch of founders. Most of them pitch their vision, try to sell me on the dream, want me to come onboard somehow. Same old.

But then I met this one brand lead… different breed.

He didn’t just skim my resume. He went through my blog, my website, every link I’ve ever shared. He read everything.

When we finally spoke, he brought up things I’d written years ago. He connected dots I didn’t think anyone noticed.

Then he introduced me to his CEO. And the whole thing felt like he was interviewing me not just for skills but for soul.

And because he was so open, sharing without any guards up, I ended up oversharing too and somewhere in that conversation, something just spilled out of me.

He asked about my past work, and I said this line without even thinking:

“I’ve always not been able to give 100%... but only because it never felt like mine.”

Later, while going through my meeting notes (thanks Granola), I saw that sentence again.

Most of my past work never felt like mine. It was always someone else’s dream. Someone else’s company. Someone else’s mission. So I’d show up, do the work, and say things like: “They’re doing this. I’m just helping.”

And I used to judge people who said “this is our company” when they were just social media managers or frontend engineers or community leads.

I’d think, “Bro, you don’t even have equity. Chill.” Or “You got 0.025% of a $1M company please act your wage.”

But I get it now.

Life isn’t about owning a company on paper. Equity means nothing if the company dies (Most do)

It’s about feeling like you own the work while you’re doing it.

And the truth is: I never let myself feel that. None of the jobs or gigs I took ever felt like mine because I didn’t allow them to. I stayed at arm’s length. Safe. Detached. Excused. Because if it wasn’t mine, I couldn’t really fail, right?

But that mindset is the real loss.

I’m done with that now (hopefully).

No more partying before the fight. No more safety nets. No more half-hearted effort disguised as self-preservation.

I want to find out what happens when I actually go all in.

Things I have been consuming lately:

1. I didn’t expect to see myself in this article… but I did.
   

   I don’t think I have any major issues - a lot of people casually throw around words like ADHD, autism, OCD. I use those very cautiously.

   But this habit of starting too many things, doing too much (both broadly and narrowly), has always been part of me. Not necessarily a problem, but definitely… okay-ish.
   Glad I have a name for it now: hypercuriosity - the constant urge to explore everything the world has to offer.
   

2. I need to reread this, but it feels like one of those rare, high-value-per-word pieces like when people say, “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it rhymes.”

   And most of you know how big of a fan I am of Windsurf. It’s the closest I’ve ever felt to being an engineer, and honestly, I love that feeling more than anything else that’s happened in my life over the last 2–3 years.
   So I followed the entire Windsurf saga closely. And this whole drama feels like a textbook example of how rare, high-stakes opportunities can break cooperative norms exactly like The Uber Dilemma talks about.

3. I love reading personal blogs (just explored 3 more today and I’m hooked)
   There’s something about people openly sharing what they’ve learned that feels so real.
   This one was from a guy who spent 5 years at Vercel. Started in a smaller role, worked his way up to VP, did some incredible things there, and now he’s left to join an even crazier company: Cursor.

   The post was about His 5 big learnings from those 5 years. Most of them are things I’ve heard before, but it still hits different when you see patterns - when people who are really good at what they do are all thinking about the same stuff:

   • Move fast

   • Log off when you need to

   • Don’t be an asshole - just get shit done

   • Get out of your own way

   • Protect taste, don’t dilute it

   Feels good to know these principles aren’t just buzzwords - they’re what the best actually live by.

I turned a year older

And for once, I experienced a complete day.

I spent time with every single person I wanted to. No compromises: Family and friends, both got their share.

Cut the cake with everyone.
Spent the night out.
Cafe-hopped with friends the next day.
Planned to go shopping (couldn’t make it happen).
Took my younger siblings out.
Wrapped it up with dinner with the whole family.

And even managed to steal an hour for myself - doing what I love most: sitting alone, reading a few good pieces online, and even pushing some code because Anthropic decided to sunset Sonnet-3 and my extension broke. (Fixed it, of course.)

There are probably a bunch of little things I’m forgetting.

But in itself, it was a complete day, complete day. And I loved every bit of it.

I also got a chance to reflect on where I am, what I’ve done, and what’s next. Honestly, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Sure, I can nitpick: maybe I could’ve saved some relationships, maybe used time better, maybe made smarter calls. But worrying about the past feels pointless. There’s more money to make, more chances to create what matters, and more life to live.

This line from Steve Jobs came to me again, like it does every birthday:

“You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.”

That’s all for this issue. See you next time.

Until then, keep working toward whatever you want, relentlessly.

— Tushaar